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Teaching Kids Leadership
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- So what can adults do to help kids learn leadership?
- A rose by any other name is still a rose
- Natural Consequences Versus Coaching and Correcting
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- Five Year Old Laments 'My sister is making me mad!'
- Socratic question-based discussions
- Have the child report on what they saw that day'
- Great question for the adults trying to teach kids
- Teach Kids How to Deal With Stress Well
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- How young is too young to start?
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- Scouts provides opportunities to practice leadership
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- So why should anyone take on the challenge of leadership?
- The Beginning of My Journey of Discovery
- The Paradox of Service to Others
- The Well Trained Mind
- Vertical Leadership is not where kids typically start out
- What about cultural differences?
- What can children pick up about leadership anyway?
- What is age-appropriate for teaching kids leadership?
- What is the Payoff for the Hard Work of Leadership?
- What lessons did I learn trying to develop leadership in my own children (so far)?
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- How do we measure our current character?
- Character Development - Fairness as a Character Trait
- Children Can Learn Leadership
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Family History
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Our Lanham Paternal Lineage
- Josias Lanham Family 1628 (Not our direct line)
- Other Siblings and Cousins in the Curtis Harden Lanham Generation
- Other Siblings and Cousins in the Hiram D. Lanham Generation
- Other Siblings and Cousins in the John Lanham (1661) Generation
- Other Siblings and Cousins in the Jonathon Lanham (1630) Generation
- Other Siblings and Cousins in the O.S. Lanham Generation
- Other Siblings and Cousins in the Robert Lanham (1560) Generation
- Other Siblings and Cousins in the Sylvester Lanham Generation
- Other Siblings and Cousins in the T.B. Lanham Generation
- Other Siblings and Cousins in the Thomas Lanham (1701) Generation
- Other Siblings and Cousins in the Thomas Lanham (1757) Generation
- Our Lanham Line - The Paternal Lineage
- The Amanda Francis Lanham Family
- The Andrew Shepherd Family
- The Archibald Lanham Family 1751
- The Benjamin Garfield Lanham Family
- The Burress and Ida Roberts Family
- The Calvin Powell Dorsey Family
- The Charles Selby Family 1762
- The Clifford Wayne Lanham Family
- The Curtis Harden Lanham Family 1813
- The Curtis Harden Lanham Family 1875
- The David Lanham Family 1595
- The Edward James Holt Family
- The Edward Lanham Family 1685
- The Elmer Harn Family
- The Emmitt F. Welborn Family
- The Eugene WILLIAMS Family 1855
- The Frank Robinson Family
- The Gideon Wilburn Ashley Family
- The Hiram Demarcus Lanham Family 1845
- The Issac Elam Family 1803
- The Jacob Shepherd Family 1812
- The James Bedford Ray Family (Cliffie M. Lanham)
- The James Kennedy Family
- The Jasper Shipman Family
- The Jeremiah Lanham Family 1755
- The Jesse Elam Family 1782
- The Joe A. Madden Family
- The John Hendrickson Corely Family
- The John James Roberts Family
- The John Lanham Family 1661
- The John Lanham Family 1690
- The John Nicholas Jacks Family 1740
- The John T. Scott Family
- The Jonathan Hammer Cook Family
- The Jonathan Lanham Family 1630
- The Josias Lanham Family 1590
- The Oran Stroud Lanham Family 1916
- The R.J. Craighead Family 1907
- The R.J. Craighead Family 1907
- The Richard Lanham Family 1697
- The Robert Lanham Family 1584
- The Roger Lanham Family 1560
- The Stephen Lanham (1726) Family
- The Stephen Lanham Family 1760
- The Stephen Lanham Family 1784
- The Sylvester Lanham Family 1790
- The Thomas Benton Lanham Family
- The Thomas Berry (T. B.) Lanham Family 1882
- The Thomas Lanham (1757) Family
- The Thomas Lanham Family 1700 or 1701
- The Thomas Sisk Family 1858
- The W.T. Lanham Family 1850
- The Walter Lee Ray Family
- The William Curtis Lanham Family
- The William Lanham Family 1699
- The Willie Green Scott Family
- The Wortha Leon Lanham Family 1907
- Reference Materials
- Rockwall Cemetery Listing, Rockwall, Texas
- The 2006 Journey to Find Thomas Lanham's Grave Site
- The Lanham family of Wortham (Research Details)
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The Maternal Side of Our Family Lines
- The A. Sion Wheeles Family
- The Aaron Jones Family
- The Abednego Chandler Family 1752
- The Adrian Alford Colbath Family 1893
- The Alex L. Baker Family
- The Alford Nolen Jones Family
- The Andrew Jackson (Jack) Kitchens Family
- The Beall Family
- The Benjamin Colbath Family 1758
- The Chisel True Baker Family
- The Daniel Horne Blackmore Family
- The David Amick Family
- The George Henry Slattery Family
- The J. E. Sisk Family
- The James McHale Family
- The John C. Colbath Family 1820
- The John Chandler Family
- The John Jones Family
- The John Lacey Family (bef 1778)
- The John Patrick Carmody Family
- The John Sappington Family 1723
- The Larkin (Lark) Patrick Williams Family
- The Lazarus Rufus Jones Family
- The Leah Unknown Family
- The Luther Jason Head Family
- The Luther Troup Baker Family
- The Mason Jones Family
- The Michael Gonzales Family
- The Michael Yost Family
- The Patrick Joseph Merrick Family
- The Patrick Merrick Family 1883
- The Patrick Williams Family
- The Perry Rufus Jones Family
- The Peter Logan Yost Family
- The Quirke Family
- The Richard Head Family 1802
- The Richard Merrick Family
- The Robert Chandler Family 1687
- The Stephen Grey Family 1894
- The Thomas Edmonson Head Family
- The Thomas Lacey Family 1808
- The Thomas Winthrop Colbath Family 1851
- The William Estes Family 1785
- The William J. Roberts Family
- The William Milton Jacks Family
- The William Patrick Williams Family
- The Willis Ashley Family
- The Winthrop Colbath Family 1786
- The Time and the Places
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- Frequently Asked Questions
Natural Consequences Versus Coaching and Correcting
The scouts are preparing for a 50-mile hike. We went on a practice hike this week with them. The scoutmaster has gotten caught up in the economic downturn and can’t spend as much time as he otherwise would. So the adults that can take the week off to go on this 50-mile hike went with the kids on this practice hike. They seem to lean more to natural consequences rather than coaching and correcting. Don’t get me wrong, they will inspect the kids gear a few days before the trip, they will bring backup first aid gear, etc. They just see this as an opportunity for these young men to learn.
Although this may scare some in our litigious society, consider that native American tribes often sent boys this age into the woods for their rites of passage or test of manhood. Ages 12-17 are good ages for high adventure.
The troop I was in as a scout had 40 boys and 5 assistant scout masters. That troop gave out packing lists, then had a back pack inspection to be sure each person had all they needed. Then we went. That troop erred on the side of too much coaching and correcting, perhaps, but we still had one boy forget the food he was supposed to bring and another forget the cooking utensils he was supposed to bring. I don’t remember being too worried about any of the logistics until we all discovered the utensils missing. Then we carved some sticks and used those instead. It was more about the adventure of it all, as I recall. One kid fell into a stream and got his clothing soaked. A fire dried his stuff out with only a few hours delay.
This troop has about 12 scouts going on the trip with two adult leaders on the hike and 2 more meeting them at two places on the route. They tend more towards natural consequences than my boyhood troop did.
So as the boys, as typical boys, seem to not pay attention to the packing list during the practice hike the consequences were minor because it was in town. One boy had a pack that was half his body weight. Another had hardly anything in it. No worries, because they were home in a few hours that night. However, when they leave on the 50-miler, they will drive multiple hours away and be gone for a week.
So is it better to let them learn by natural consequences should they forget things? Well, there seems to be some degree of learning by natural consequences no matter how much you try to help prepare them. The scout motto, Be Prepared, is sometimes thought through more than other times. Also part of scouting is to learn some of these things by your own experience. My own experiences in Scouting taught me much by mistakes, both in stuff to take and in leadership gaffes. We can then apply those lessons for the remainder of our lives.
So I think the boundary to allowing natural consequence is the boy’s safety. They seem safe so far. They are buying the food today and will split it up Wed night at the scout meeting. It is mostly dry and dehydrated foods for such a long hike. They have been told repeatedly to not bring just cotton socks, but some of them may learn by the blisters they get about that choice. The leaders will have a first aid kit with moleskin inside to aid those painful blisters. Some blisters are inevitable on a hike this long anyway. It is a great personal learning opportunity for each young man. They get to develop their own experiences and live with the consequences of their own choices.
They will be at 6,000 to 8,000 feet in elevation, so cold could be a problem, but it is July. It only drops down to 34 degrees F (1 deg C) at night where they are going. This morning, in early July it was 44 degrees F (6 deg C) and we live about 40 minutes drive from the mountains.
Some of what we learn best in life is by the mistakes we make. For me it was easier to take the consequence to an action than to hear a well-intentioned adult tell me "I told you so." I think learning by mistakes is the purpose of the U.S. Army’s National Training Center at Fort Irwin, California too. They want the mistakes to be made in a "safe" environment so lessons are learned without injury of loss of life and less mistakes are made in real operations. So for these boys, there are safety backups with the adults, but the prevailing philosophy in Scouting’s guided learning is to let the boys lead and coach as needed. Natural consequences are excellent teachers and not soon forgotten.
So when tempted to over-correct and to "ensure a perfect trip" consider how that approach could lead to less engagement and less opportunity for people to learn for themselves. If there is significant danger, then a firmer approach may be warranted. Give the benefit of the doubt to letting the natural consequences do the teaching where possible. Quietly have backup, first aid, or other reserve resources as necessary or prudent. This generation needs to learn some of these lessons too. We adults developed our own heuristics or rules of thumb for succeeding at various endeavors. Our job as leaders is not to ensure they get the activity 100% correct, but rather to set up opportunities for learning and discussion of those lessons (reflection). When they learn for themselves, they build a portfolio of experiences that allows them to get to the next level of success at their next, more challenging endeavor. Allowing natural consequences gives them space to make significant choices and live with the impact.